Fortress of Solitude

Current Mood: Sickly

Sadness. I thought things would change now. I hoped my body had gotten over this and I’d have a stronger immunity. Throughout my entire internship, I got sick 0 times. The only times I was even remotely sick was when I was heading back to California. Allergic to California? Perhaps. Maybe it’s just the TSA anxiety. In any case, I’m so sick of being sick. I’ve tried so many different remedies: allopathic drugs, ayurvedic drugs, homeopathic drugs, even no drugs - that mind over matter stuff. And still, I got nothing. No amount of Vitamin C or extra sleep or hygiene skills is going to prevent me from getting sick. As soon as I step into an area full of sick people, my defenses immediately fall and I start getting terribly sick. The worst part is, while my coworkers get sick and recover after a day or two - I’m stuck in weakness and pain for weeks at a time.

The pain is the same, high fever and sore throat. Body aches and soreness. I’m beginning to suspect that perhaps this isn’t really a sickness, more like an allergic reaction. But an allergy to what? Now that is the real question. I’m debating seeing a dietitian when I return to California because I am beginning to believe more and more that something in my diet, something I eat, is affecting my immunity and suppressing it; or it is at least causing these symptoms to appear. I can’t go on like this because it takes all the pleasure out of life. Hopefully I’ll figure it out soon. My biggest worry is that if I don’t cure this then how could I possibly be a doctor - I’ll be working in a environment full of sick people.